Written by Tracy Nelson
Reports have recently come in from the Official Bureau of Arts, Behavior and Administration (OBAMA) convention that was recently held in Washington D.C. One of the highlights of this event, which drew in legislators and citizens alike, was a prototype home that fulfills the goals of the current administration. This prototype home shows the many ways the new expanding role of the government will positively impact the average citizen’s lifestyle. Supporters of the prototype home believe that its presence, both at the OBAMA convention and in a forthcoming national tour, will help increase support for currently controversial legislation proposed by the president and the congress.
This home, the brainchild of liberal politician Sven A. Laught after the 2008 democratic election sweep, was built at the cost of ten billion dollars. “The funding for this project came primarily from a 5% income tax hike on the wealthiest .5% of American citizens. This only raises these money-bags’ taxes to approximately 50%, and considering the greater good that this project will have, that is a small price to pay” remarked Laught after being confronted about the expense of this initiative. Construction began on the project in November of 2008 and was projected to be completed by Obama’s inauguration, but inefficient contractors and sparse supplies slowed the work on the project. The door was hung and the last shingle attached to the roof just days before the opening of the OBAMA conference last weekend.
Despite a rocky building process, supporters of the prototype home believe that it exemplifies the good that new policies will do for the average American. The new health care bill has increased demand for prescription drugs, leaving the drug cabinet empty so that the elderly grandmother who lives in the home cannot get access to dangerous diabetes medication that she may use to experience a high and accidentally overdose on. The government medical plan has also meant that the young toddler living in the household no longer has to worry about going through painful immunizations because doctors are unwilling to provide general medical care, choosing the higher paying option of specialization.
Another new government program highlighted in the home is the president’s Project MP3. Project MP3, proposed in 2011 as a way to fight the deepening recession, provides all citizens with brand new MP3 players and compatible home speakers, hoping that once in possession of these devices, individuals would purchase music and accessories for the gadgets, stimulating the economy. Every room in the prototype house has built in speakers, connectible to the MP3s. Two days into the exhibition of the home the speakers unfortunately shorted, causing a small fire. Government repairmen, commissioned by Project MP3, have yet to respond to the call, leaving the electrical systems of the home dangerous and unusable.
While emergency services were originally only available for dangerous situations involving medical, fire, or criminal emergencies, recent expansions of public emergency services have made these services part of an individual’s everyday life. The prototype home highlights this expansion through the placement of 911 call buttons in every room of the house. These buttons will bring the fire department, police department, or rescue personnel to a home in dire circumstances, like the losing of a sock, the burning out of a lightbulb, and the making of a bed. The recent requiring of emergency services to answer all calls for help by citizens has made the response time for personnel a brief 4 day period, insuring the eventual response of government officials to your fire, heart attack, or broken computer.
During the OBAMA convention, the prototype home was met with much praise. Legislators called it “the setting of the new age of American living” and “absolutely everything we’ve been working for these last few years”. Now the home will go on a cross country tour, hoping to rile support for liberal candidates in the upcoming congressional and presidential elections. Sven A. Laught and other supporters of the home are running on a platform of expanded government services and programs and they hope to continue to update the home as their ideas reach the house and senate floors, and ultimately the President’s desk, which has just finished being rebuilt after its collapse under the weight of the Healthcare Reform Bill.