My Various Random Ramblings

I spent awhile searching for a PHP array of the 3 character country codes and name to use for a dropdown, but could not find one formatted well. So I did some VIM-fu with some PHP and here it is: Read more

Eli and I discovered that Facebook chat blocks all messages containing links to ThePirateBay as “abusive”.

I received this great email unsolicited recently.

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FROM: edwardturner.apps@gmail.com

Mr. Kurt Nelson,

I was just checking out your iPhone app in the App Store.  Congrats, looks pretty good.

Happy with your sales so far?

I’ve been working with some app developers the last few months, and I’ve learned that there’s two aspects that you need to focus on to be really successful selling apps in iTunes.  I’d be happy to share what I’ve learned if you’re interested.  Just let me know and I’ll send you a quick overview.

Best of luck,
Ed Turner

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This is just the app store version of the billion SEO offers I get for my website. So I respond to see if the person on the other end has some intelligence.

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Mr. Ed Turner,

I was just checking to see how much you want to charge for your advice. Congrats on starting a scummy company to do this.

Happy with your results so far?

I’ve been working with some app developers the last few months, and I’ve learned that there’s two aspects that you need to focus on to be really successful selling products to them. I’d be happy to share what I’ve learned if you’re interested. Just let me know and I’ll send you a quick overview after charging you $397.

Kurt Nelson

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Mr. Kurt Nelson,

If you simply replied, “Sure, send me what you have”…you would have received a follow-up email with the summary I promised. For FREE. Sure, if you wanted me to implement the suggestions for you, I would have to charge for that. But my initial advice was free. I never said you’d have to pay me to get it.

Is your Company “scummy” because you charge for you App? Please think before writing such a vicious reply from now on. There are people out there willing to provide a little guidance for nothing in return.

Ed

P.S. Here’s the email you would have received:

Kurt,

First, I do offer a marketing service that helps iPhone App Developers. However, the information I provide below and on the site I link to…that alone can give you a good base on how to improve your iPhone sales on your own. If you think I can help you, great. There’s obviously no obligation on your part for me sharing this knowledge.

Ok, the two aspects that you must focus on for marketing your iphone app are traffic and conversion. By traffic, I mean getting people to learn about your app and sending them to your app page on iTunes. Conversion is what happens when they arrive at your page in iTunes… they either buy, or they don’t.

What you need to do first is work on the conversion aspect. You do this by optimizing everything that is on your app’s iTunes product page. Mostly, we’re talking about the description. In marketing speak, this is called “copy”. You need highly persuasive copy that convinces the visitor to click the buy button (as opposed to clicking the back button and leaving).

Your app’s copy must be more than a standard “description” in order to be successful. Rather than focus on specific features of the app, you should try to describe how the app will benefit the user. Most non-games can use “benefits” rather than features and receive a strong boost in conversion. However, there’s another trick I like to use when writing copy for an iphone app…

Write the copy so that the user can actually “experience” themselves using the app. Put them in a mental state of mind where they can visualize themselves using the app. I know, easier said than done… but it is highly effective! This technique is awesome for game apps too!

The second aspect is traffic. How do you allow people to learn about your app and get them to your app’s iTunes product page? There are many methods, but the best method is a well crafted press release that is sent to a list of websites and blogs that often review iphone apps. I’ve been compiling a list of my own (117 quality sites so far).

It’s important that you don’t try to send a boiler-plate press release and expect results. You need to use some of the same techniques I talked about in regards to persuasive copy to get these site owners and bloggers to want to write about your app.

If you want a big boost in sales, this is what you need to do.

Not everyone is skilled at writing persuasive marketing copy. I offer a fairly affordable service, and I can do it all for you. Check out the complete details here:

http://www.mobile-app-marketing-makeover.com

All the best,
Ed

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I sell products too you know, but I don’t send out emails to everyone in the app store offering to sell my products to them under the guise of advice. So, Mr. Turner, you are still a spammer, just instead of selling me Viagra you are selling a slightly more useful product.

His twitter account is http://twitter.com/edwardturner and his facebook profile is http://www.facebook.com/edward.turner so you can go investigate yourself.

jPPP now has a repository along with forthcoming documentation. All releases will now be downloaded at http://code.google.com/p/javappp/ The most up-to-date version is in a zip file in the main repository. jPPP now matches with the codes coming off of the GRC website.

I was sitting here on IM bothering no one when I see “sanjeev0907@gmail.com wishes to chat with you” I accept it because why not?

3:27 PM sanjeev0907: Hi

me: hi

sanjeev0907: How are you doing

me: fine…

sanjeev0907: Well my naame is sanjeev

3:28 PM An SEO expert

me: oh great.

I thought this was someone I know

3:30 PM what company are you with?

sanjeev0907: I can increase traffic and ranking on search engines

Clearpath

Clearpath Technology

me: and how much does this stuff cost?

sanjeev0907: It depends on website

3:31 PM we have different packages

USD250 30 keywords

me: for you to come up with a list of useless words?

sanjeev0907: Not useless

Keywords do miracle

3:32 PM me: then how far up can you get my site?

sanjeev0907: it makes your website to reach to 100s

First page on all search engines

Google Yahoo MSN

with best traffic

3:33 PM me: well first off, I know how to do that my self. second, there is no way to guarentee such a thing. third off, you have not done much research, because I have the first result in google for my most important terms already.

sanjeev0907: all right

3:34 PM i know you must have the keywords on first page

Can you please tell me once more your web site name

me: hah. great marketing!

please remove me from your list. SEO is junk, and I can do it myself. This is an unsolicited commercial message, and is thus considered spam and is illegal per the Can Spam Act. I will be reporting your gmail account, and will be spreading the word on how your company uses these tactics.

3:35 PM This conversation has been recorded, and will be posted all over the web to make a fool of your company.

sanjeev0907: Well i have not tried to make fool of you niether i want to sale any thing you show interest

3:36 PM once haad replied to my executive that is why iadded you today

me: nope. some form of spam.

sanjeev0907: otherwise i can understand how intelligent you are

No!1

No spam

I am a real person you can call me

3:37 PM My name is sanjeev sharma

919911576171

me: Can I have your company information to verify if it exists?

sanjeev0907: yes

www.clearpathtechnology.com

but please first i would lik to see your website

me: Thank you. I will be reporting them to the BBB. I will now block you.

Thanks for providing entertainment Sanjeev! Little does he know I already have the first result in google for my name, and that he spilled to me the list of emails for all his contacts!