My Various Random Ramblings

As soon as the parade rounds the corner, I start ripping tape off the ground. At this moment, I am supposed to be two places at once. Good show is demanding. I backtrack the parade route a bit finding the other blue wands waving in the air. I hop in the line, for the quickest exit please stay to the right, raise my wand in the air, please stay to the right, and start waving it back and forth. Stay to the right. About here is where you are tired of it. Is humanity so clueless and selfish to not do such a simple thing such as staying to the right of a pathway? It takes 40 people an hour at $7.25 each to keep humanity from stopping itself in the street and trapping itself. We stand and wait for that blue fairy, our favorite Disney property. She makes it all end, when she appears, we go home. Until she appears, STAY to the RIGHT.

Oh look, it’s the blue fairy!

My favorite line from any Disney any thing. Our arms come down, we duckling out down the street, swing right towards first aid, and disappear into the wall. With a fireworks finale behind us, we walk towards the cooler only to presented with the cheapest refreshing option the union will allow, and grab ourselves a cup of Squencher. We down it, and before trudging to the clock we have to throw away our cups. I walk up to the computer, hit my six numbers, enter, enter and I now get paid to walk back through the park, trudge down the utilidors, wait for the bus, and figure out where I put my car 4 hours ago. I collapse at home in my bed, remembering I have to be at my real job in 8 hours at 8am.

At least I can escape. Some have been here for 20 years, day after day, doing this same process. I do it when I choose to. Other do it because it chooses them for life.

Make sure you start with Part 1

1:45 – I see down the street in town square Shane is scampering towards the Christmas tree to flip it off. Everything is automated about the parade, to the windows on the street automatically cracking open so the soundtrack can be heard, yet the gigantic 50 foot Christmas tree in town square manually has to have it’s lights flipped off every parade. All the other lights in town square flip off, and I hear the electrosynthomagnetic electrical sounds of Disney’s Main Street Electrical Parade! (dun-duh!) At the same time up here in the hub, the 10 minute announcement is made. The crowd gets excited, and I…don’t. Now that we are close to the parade, foot traffic has picked up through my area since Guests are starting to be redirected around the route. Of course I love to remind people out loud of the fastest way to the exit, through the rose-garden, behind the popcorn cart, and around and through the bypass. From there they will be wisked away magically to the front of the park where they can happily hop a monorail and get out of the park reducing the crowds from the nice 50,000 to a slightly better 49,999. One less family with a crying child trying to find a spot to watch the parade at the absolute last minute. I see Tinkerbell’s head over the crowd slowly working her way towards me. Once she finally arrives, I can switch from my please keep moving, to a please keep moving, this is not a parade viewing area.

3:29 – The waiting begins,  but this is not just any old regular waiting. This is paid waiting, with the small extra of having to deal with 15,000 incredibly well behaved human beings. Here at the Gazebo, it is up to me to keep 100 ft of walkway in two totally different directions with the added bonus of it being wrapped around a corner. In other words, it’s time to pace. I’m armed with the weapon of choice, the Blue Light Wand, which can instill movement into all but the most stubborn Guests. That…if…you just keep moving, just keep moving, life isn’t all that grim. It’s like the small child who can’t step on the cracks in the sidewalk because they are lava. Except in this case, if you stand on my line on the sidewalk I become your closest buddy until you are no longer on my line on the sidewalk. Only an hour and 44 to go. Right now it’s easy, only the curb is filled and I can direct Guests to nearby front row seating. I take advantage of a quiet moment to interact with the guests.

3:25 – I love overhearing Guest conversations. On a quiet day, I always get the family that realizes how good of a vacation date they chose. They thought ahead too. They have their small blanket on the curb, a child on it clapping and excited to see Custodial walk down the road in their bright costume. The Mom and Dad are sitting on either side of the child, pointing out shiny interesting things to them. They got to the parade route two hours early, so I take out the time to point out *my* favorite spot and make them feel like insiders. Unfortunately, there is a difference between Parents and parents.

Read Part 1.

3:45 – The meeting begins. I’m getting paid now to sit on a bench for 15 minutes and only have to pay attention to grab one small bit of information: my position for the day. Today’s coordinator and manager stand up front, saying nothing new or important, “don’t leave your position”, “make sure you know what you are doing”, “two way …. good ….. not like that disaster…”.

3:38 – They finally start running down the board. But first the old timers whine and bribe and claim they have to be escort today because they are tired. Except they were tired the day before and the day before that. The manager gives it to them for no reason. Backstage One, Two, Parade Escort One, Two, Firehouse VIP, Bridge VIP, Firehouse 1, 2, City Hall Disability 1,2, City Hall Crosswalk, 1, 2, one, two. Exposition Hall, Emporium One, Two, Pivot One, Two, Confectionery One, Two, Center Street East, Center Street West. Everyone listed so far breathes a sigh of relief, except Rick the poor trainer who has been stuck at City Hall Disability 1 for months with training groups. Next comes the most hellish section: Casey’s one, two, window, Ice Cream one, two, window. Those 6 brave souls groan, everyone else still sits patiently waiting to see how their day will be. Hub corner east, west, hub disability, hub crosswalk east, west, castle 1, 2, 3, (plus plugs and ropes), then castle crosswalk north 1, 2, castle crosswalk south 1, 2 and the ever awkward castle corner. Everyone named so far gets up and goes, grabbing the best light wands for the easiest jobs. But tonight is not just any night, it’s a 50k’er. We are staffed to the teeth, as close to new years as you can get, so the newbies are all remaining, waiting to hear what circle of hell they get assigned to.

3:35 – Here come the chutes. A captain for the west and east, plus as many spare bodies are available to help prod the cattle through. Exposition hall chutes are open tonight, this is where they stick the presentable bums. The bypass is coming out also, we have the joint bypass/expo chute captain who doesn’t actually work here, just scmoozes with the managers constantly. The unpresentable bums are stuffed in the dark bypass where they don’t have to speak, just have to stand there and point. I’ve still not been listed. That means they are saving me for the toughest spots, the ones that the regulars refuse to do but they know I am capable of. Hub Popcorn, bridge from hell east and west, Casey’s Hopeless redirect one and two, Exposition Hall two, Tomorrowland bridge, Fantasy bridge redirect, and the Gazebo. And of course, that is where I end up. Again. For the third night in a row. At least I’m good at it, but today they didn’t give me any backup. I talk to the manager and request more bodies, any bodies, and they say they will think about it. Which means no.

3:33 – I head down the stairs to the Parade Audience Control closet, grab two whole rolls of 3M Masking Tape, a blue light wand with dead batteries, and hang up my sanity.

End Act I.

I went to the Magic Kingdom yesterday and here are a few of my photos:

Even on rails you can have a serious traffic jam.

These Alice in Wonderland cutouts appear on the back path between Tomorrowland and Toontown fair as part of the Halloween Party decorations.

Watch Music at the Grand Floridian

Here is a video I took in the Grand Floridian lobby of a band playing Part of Your World. And I leave you with this one final picture from the top of the Swiss Family Tree House.